Friday, July 28, 2006
tears..laughter..sadness..feigning of strength..do we reali haf to show all these as part of being a human..totally aint void of ani feelins?tonight..i spent mi nite at laguna cafe..threw up so much..drank too much..yet i noe i wun drink to mi max..becos yw juz aint ard animore le..whu will care?no one..sl doesnt..she doesnt reali care much abt me..told her abt mi headache and she din ask hw i am..told her abt me vomitting,she asked me if everyone's high?im tired..i miss yw so much..i msg yw and she replied im drunk too,and pls tk care..even as a fren..she still cares..hw can i possibly let a gal like her get past me..let her be forgotten ferever..i cried tonight yet again..tears broke like pearls frm a necklace..thou nt as appealing but stil as evident..i let go of a few tears..and tt's it..tt's all i will offer as evidence of mi weakness..i cldnt let her go yet i had to pretend i can..i cried fer her yet i haf to tell miself tt i wun ever cry fer her..even in having feelins fer sl,i cld nt get her to repay the feelins..and wadever the reason is,she has a wonderful reason..and one which i noe is much more appropriate than e reason fer me brking up wif yw then..i saw a future in me and her..yet she doesnt..so wad can i do..and the thing is..mayb she cld juz sew up mi broken heart..kw once asked me..hw can u like sl fer so long and think it's a crush..i told him i dun wish to think and i dun wish to say..he asked me whu i reali like..i cant say fer sure..mayb time has gotten to a point tt sl has gradually taken over yw le ba..but the indifference tt sl showed me..haiz..it's juz so imp ba..
yw,if ur looking,tell me we share a future..tell me we share a bond tt has nvr been broken..torn btw u and michelle then,i made u mi choice..i nvr regretted it..we shared so much..shared so far..we once tot of marriage..and to be honest,tt was nvr a joke but a reality i deem possible..yet..we r apart by heart and distance..both literally and metaphorically..
sl,i noe it's imp fer us to be tgt..yet i feel this sense of closeness whenever im wif u..tell me tt's juz willingness on mi part..and tell me tt we share a future no further than those of frens..
jac,if in the end u haf to part,noe tt u tried so hard to endure and to conquer..yet,it's him whu has let u dwn..put him dwn and move on..tears will tk away ur sorrow slowly but surely..time will heal all wounds..leavin them like new..destroying the lil scars tt may seem rather obvious and more irritatingly vocal..
jac..in me pls believe,in O.I understand tt we wil share ur woes..we will share ur joy,we will hide ur tears..and we will amplify ur smile..jac..cry no more..hush nw wun u??
im juz so glad to haf so mani frens tt i can trust and confide..yc..all the best when u set sail tmr..this time i made no mistake..pardon mi mistake..and in 2 months time...we will be rocking MOS wun we?tk care yc and since u chose the path,u haf to face it bravely,noeing O.I and ur FEY will be there to be wif u as u overcome the ordeal..tk care peeps..noe tt it has been real troubling fer so long fer u guys..but endure and overcome..fer this is the trait of a survivor,a trait of the creation of lord our god..
gd nite guys..luffter and tears are made by us..we choose them..no one else..
COME UNTO ME,AND I WILL GIVE YOU REST..jesus has said it..rem and haf faith in ur maker..juz like u haf faith in urself..