Saturday, September 09, 2006
had a clubbing session yest..was tiring but fun..all went nuts as usual..and i dunno y..juz hate the smell of tt stupid alcohol more as each day passes by..mayb it reminds me of her..making me feel all weak again,demanding her presence..and in the end..mk miself sad...again..everyone's there yest..it was reali fun..but i hate the feeling of being left out..and more imptly..i hate the fact tt clubbing reminds me of yw..when i disallow her to go..and she wld plead wif me..i hate miself fer looking at the past oways..and y muz it be her all e time..im tired of this..yet i cant get out of it..i hafta look at someone else and say ur who i wan..yet i cant..hw's she nw??still living in her own world of fantasy..i think it's mi fault..yet..din she say michi was beside her all the time??near ur A'S..did i once chose to disturb u??i was sad..yet i din tell u..all i wanted was fer u to study well..yet..wad happened??i dunno...and i dun think it's me ba..mayb mayb mayb...
every drinking session mks me realise alot..y muz things happen b4 we r sry..why...why...im tired..u noe wad i wanan do nw??i wanna go over to aust or nz..to study wad i can..finance or law..and when im done..i wanan score reali well..get over the disappointments tt has been plaguing me since P6...sec...jc..underperformer..tt's wad i get frm everyone..i hate tt...i wanna do wad i can do..like mi bro..whu has underachieved till nw...aceing everything...he rox...and i juz wanna live in mi world..and in mi world..i wanan mi grades to b juz cool...UWA..here i come...come on!!!!